I read a lot of health and fitness articles, so it’s not unusual I come across a few posts here and there sharing the latest health trends. As with any trend, whether it be fashion or fitness, one will run into a few weird fads. However, the 6 health trends below are way past weird, they’re downright puke producing.
Quick question. Are ya hungry?
Well, you won’t be once you’re done reading this post.
1) Fecal Pills
See the image to the left? That would be pills made of poop.
Ah, good ole frozen human poop (soooo…I suppose that petri dish could also be called a poo-poo platter… sigh).
The pills came about as an alternative to the original fecal transplant, which I’d say is pretty self-explanatory.
Yup, it’s a turd transplant.
NPR states that by “restoring good gut bacteria,” this procedure has been highly successful in treating Clostridium difficile, an infection that often results in symptoms such as abdominal cramping, bloating and…a screaming case of the trots.
I’m sure no words can describe the agony these poor people go through. If it’s bad enough that you’re willing to have another person’s poop either shoved up your butt, via colonoscopy, OR sent through a tube that starts in the nose and goes “all the way into a person’s stomach or gut,” then C. diff. must be pretty. frickin’. terrible.
Well, despite how horrible their symptoms were, I guess the majority of patients were less than fired up by the delivery method.
Propelling poop down a tube and into the stomach concerned some doctors. There was the chance patients could throw up or gag (something I’m sure we can all relate to in this moment), and inhale “fecal matter.”
I guess the term, “smells like crap” is taken to a whole new level at that point…louder sigh.
This caused researchers to come up with what else? Packing poop in a pill, of course! Now, sufferers would have the option to take caca orally.
According to NPR, after healthy poop donors make their deposit, the poop is then put into capsule form (some poor schmuck seriously does it by hand), before being thrown into the freezer to chill for a bit. Freezing the poop prolongs the shelf life of the microbes for up to 250 days.
That way, deuce donors don’t have to perform on command.
Once the pills are ready to rock, the patient takes a total of 30 poo pills (each pill about the size of a “large multivitamin”) in a relatively short amount of time.
Many times, the pills take care of the problem right away. In other cases, people have to repeat the treatment a second time in order to see results.
So basically what I’m telling you is they’re full of shit…ok, that was my last poop pun, I promise.
I certainly get that these pills have been life-changing for a great deal of affected people. What I haven’t quite warmed up to though is the fact they’re literally consuming mini human poop-cicles.
2) Cricket Flour
I am not ashamed to admit that I’m a complete wuss when it comes to bugs.
Whether or not the insects I come into contact with are gonna bite, sting, or simply pee on me a little, I flail like a person in flames when bugs start hanging around me.
When I hear that crickets are being ground up and used in baking, protein bars, protein shakes, etc., my knees go weak and the left side of my upper lip curls.
Apparently, bugs that include grasshoppers, the aforementioned crickets, and mealworms (Ugh, mealworms?!? I’ll pop a poop pill, thanks) are packed with such nutrients as protein, vitamins, minerals, fiber and the good for you fats.
According to Shape Magazine, there’s about 13 grams of protein in 3 1/2 ounces of cricket flour. Not too shabby.
But cricket still comes up short compared to the 23 grams of protein in just 3 ounces of beef, or the 24 grams of protein for the same amount of chicken.
One bit of information worth mentioning is how incorporating crickets into your diet seems to be better for the environment. Megan Miller, founder of the cricket-based flour company, Bitty Foods, claims that “insects are probably the most sustainable protein we have on earth.”
Meaning, the cultivation of crickets leave less of a carbon footprint than our other, more traditional protein sources. For example, Daily Burn states that “crickets produce 80x less methane than cattle.”
Regardless, I’m still not sold.
Unless chowing down on pulverized insects generates solid blocks of gold to shoot out of my butt, I think I’ll pass.
3) Maggot and Leech Therapy
Therapies once considered mere folk remedies are now “a growing trend,” author Michele Root-Bernstein states. Believe it or not, there are doctors out there who will look to maggots and leeches when orthodox treatments aren’t doing the trick.
Maggots are prescribed when a wound is not wanting to heal. Dr. Ronald Sherman at the University of California-Irvine says once they’re placed on the wound, these soon-to-be flies “eat dead flesh, clean out dead skin, and kill harmful bacteria that need injured tissue to survive.”
Maggots seem to be pretty good at their job. Dr. Sherman goes on to say that the therapy is “faster than any non-surgical method for wound-healing.” In fact, there are more than 200 hospitals that currently prescribe maggot therapy to treat patients.
You’re probably wondering how maggot therapy ever came about. Well, during the Civil War and World War I, it was not surprising to find soldiers wounds infested with maggots. Doctors eventually realized that maggot-infested wounds were healing at a faster rate than non-infested injuries.
And I just realized my gag reflexes are in perfect working order.
Moving on to leech therapy. By the way, while researching this topic I opened a website with images, and I had to have my husband close out the page. I couldn’t chance seeing those pictures again. Then my husband became busy so my mom (I’m visiting my family for the holidays) ended up reading one of the leech therapy articles to me.
Leech therapy is used for many things from skin conditions like psoriasis, to diseases such as arthritis and high blood pressure. If I get too specific, it’ll overly gross me out, so for a more detailed description of all that leech therapy treats, click here!
So, why leeches? Evidently, leech spit has healing properties. One chemical called hirudin keeps blood from clotting. There’s also some sort of anti-septic quality where it helps keep bacteria from getting in and causing infection. On top of that, leech spit contains vasodilator, which prompts the patients blood vessels to open up. If I ever should need leech or maggot therapy, I’ll require being put into a medically induced coma until the humdingers are long gone.
4) Oil Pulling
Oil pulling originated in India and has actually been practiced for thousands of years. I know what your thinking, that’s far from a trend. However, it’s been gaining popularity the past few years.
When you perform an oil pulling session, you swish 1-2 tablespoons of oil around in your mouth for 10-20 minutes. Dr. Axe suggests to oil pull at least 3-4 times a week as soon as you roll out of bed. Sesame oil was traditionally used, but since coconut oil prevents the tooth decaying bacterium, Streptococcus mutans, from wreaking havoc on your tooth enamel, the latter is now recommended.
Oil pulling is supposed to be not only outstanding for oral health, but pulling coconut oil has also been shown to balance hormones, soften wrinkles and lighten age spots, boost energy, help with digestion, and more.
Say you go ahead and try it out. Don’t give up right off the bat if you’re only able to stomach “pushing, pulling and drawing oil through your teeth” for a few minutes. Experts say it is better than nothing. You can also try swishing in increments. “Rinse” for a bit, spit it out and repeat with fresh oil. Continue the pattern till you reach the recommended 20 minutes.
Now, if you manage to swish for the full 20 minutes, you are my hero. I can hardly think about it without my throat closing up. Once you’re done, whatever you do, doctors say not to swallow it. After sucking oil through your teeth for 20 minutes, a lot of toxins and bacteria are going to be swimming around in there. Spit that crap out!
I’d like to say that someday I’ll be able to attempt this. There are so many benefits, it’d be silly not to at least try. But I don’t see that happening any time soon.
Maybe after I have a kid. I hear a woman’s tolerance for utter grossness dramatically rises once you become a mom.
5) Snail Facials
Yep, it’s a facial where several snails are placed on your face and slither their slimy butts all over your mug. Snail snot is known to have hyaluronic acid and different antioxidants, and many swear by the goo’s collagen-boosting ability. So why not stick a snail on your face.
You too can feel like you smeared your runny nose all over your face for the low, low price of $234…or more. Before you go racing to your nearest slimery though, you’re still gonna find your skeptics.
Dr. William Stebbins, a dermatology professor at Vanderbilt University states, “I’d be surprised if this has any lasting effect on skin health.” Experts are comparing it to nothing more than a good moisturizer.
In other words, I’d save my money if I were you. But if after reading this you’re craving a puke-in-your-mouth facial experience, you can always check out the exhilarating semen facial, a nourishing sheep placenta facial, or the acne-clearing baby foreskin facial, aka HydraFacial.
6) Free Bleeding
Now, I realize the purpose of free bleeding is not necessarily for health reasons, but I consider it to be at least in the vicinity of health. Besides, it’s too spew-inducing NOT to include it.
Modern Woman Digest describes free bleeding as a trend where mega feminists as well as extreme pro-woman advocates are deciding to “use feminine products no longer, in exchange for allowing her blood to flow ‘freely’ out of her body, staining her clothing and running down her thighs to wherever it may end up.”
The online magazine explains the logic behind the movement is for demonstrating that menstruation shouldn’t be looked upon as “unclean or unnatural” or something to be ashamed of.
These free bleeders are also attempting to show since a man invented feminine hygiene products (tampons, pads, etc.), it must mean they were “intended to inadvertently rape a woman during her period, thus furthering her victim status as a woman living in a world run by men.”
Ok, so both toilets and toilet paper were invented by men. And considering the whole point of toilet paper is to wipe your lady parts, and the typical toilet technically gropes a woman’s butt cheeks, will the next movement be free pooping? Will women just walk around crapping their pants?
Can’t you ladies just wear a red ribbon like a tail and call it a day?
A little symbolism never hurt anyone. Or stained a couch.
Let me hear your thoughts! Have any of you done one of the trends above? Or is there some past health trend that completely grossed you out? I’d love for you to tell me about it.
I have to give a special shoutout to Mandy Waysman, the person behind the hilarious blog, Oh Mandelyn. Mandy was kind enough to include my blog as one of her “top five best favorite blogs for 2015!” Is that so AWESOME or what? Check out her post here. Don’t forget to sign up to receive her posts via email! You really will love her blog.